If Only They Knew

If only they knew how it makes me feel,

when they limit everything that is real.

I can sense their attitude when I ask to see the outcast of the family,

unlike them an outcast I do not see.

I see my oldest sister doing what she does best,

taking life's challenges by the horns and letting God deal with the rest.

It is our sisterly bond that nothing will break,

if someone attempted - that would be their biggest mistake.

When I feel so close to someone don't try to take it away,

you will fail and I will have plenty to say.

If only they knew how I feel when I'm at home,

I feel outcasted myself and all alone.

If I had no voice and didnt make a sound,

I don't think they would notice if I was around.

The tv is a major part in both their lives along with the nephew,

who's 6 years older than 2.

I remember when I was that age I was cleaning left and right,

if I failed to listen I had to deal with my father's spite.

This one 6 years older than 2,

doesn't really have a lot to do.

He plays video games and makes a mess,

cleaning up after everyone is such a big stress.

When did I become the maid in this home?

When did I become like an outcast and feel all alone?

Why is it they don't see how they make me feel?

Why are they taking away everything I love and everything that's real?

I don't like how everything's turning out,

this is not what my life should be about.

My whole life's been a huge war,

for me and me only to explore.

I see the differences that tears this family apart,

seeing my oldest sister outcasted breaks my heart.

She's paid the price for the past,

but how long will you make her past last?

You keep holding that dark cloud over her head,

as if you've never made and slept in such a bed.

As if you've never done something wrong,

it is only your guilt that you will have for so long.

I find myself asking people to place they're blame on me,

just so they can be free.

Free of the punishment they might recieve,

free of the way others decieve.

I don't care for what anyone has to say,

I like me this way.

I will never put down my guard and I will always protect the ones I love,

try and change me you would be giving your ego a little shove.

If only they knew how I would rather be outcasted with my oldest sis,

rather than try holding on to a family that doesn't exist.