The way i feel for him...

When woke up this morning a sense of  stress, distrought & depression seemed to struck me in the face. Finally realizing for once that life is not as easy as I imagined it would be. Easy would be the placing of everything that you ever wanted or needed planted right at your feet. I sat for a while longer and pondered at the thought of what easy really meant for me. In my room crying, I  pleading for a second chance. Thinking that just days before I created this imaginary state of mind where nothing could really bother me. I was extremely comfortable not caring or wondering what i really needed to be doing. Then in just a peaking second I glanced up searching for an answer, looking for a solution, and found nothing to comfort me. I searched throught the thoughts in my mind and came upon an old memory... A memory that i once felt so real when i was young. The memory of death. Death was my hunter and very own evil that would love to creep beside me, even as i'd sleep. I'd remember holding myself each night crying to this evil, calling out its name over and over again. And as i sit here wondering why me, why life, why the people that surround me. I began pleading and calling our for help. Searching for someone that cared, someone that would listen, or that even had the time to notice. And in a burst of my streaming tears i felt a warmth surround me, devouring me into a fire of love and passion. Thats when i realized that someone was listening... I decided to give this person a chance. A chance not given to many. I felt myself giving this person my thoughts, feelings, desire, passion, strength, pride, and love. I felt that all this pain was raining out of me through my tears, holding me together, and putting pieces that i once knew that i had. This feeling confused me, I reached inside of my heart searching for the truth and to my realization i've had this feeling there all along. I thought of every lie, blaming words, and hatred that i felt for this person. And still again... honestly i see it and i feel it just like the first time. It was an inmense feeling of love and compassion, forgiving me of all the evil things that i had inside of me. I felt the evil release my thoughts and mind. The pressure that once reigned over my shoulders forced  upon me, where finally letting me go. Thats when i felt my freedom...