To Live And Die Alone

Unnoticed in a swaying crowd
with hours passed and not one smile
Even when I scream out loud
it's as though I'm on a lonely isle

Go home to an empty place
drop my keys on a dirty floor
a broken mirror reflects my face;
Just as distorted as I am sore

Stagger to a bedroom wall
tears drip down my cheeks
None to confide in and none to call
I've been desperate now for weeks

Slip into the closet black
retrieve a box from the shelf;
The time has come, no turning back
The time has come to free myself.

A gleaming silver handgun
clutched in my damp palm
It's a battle that just can't be won
and I am oddly calm.

It's just my options that I'll think of
while I prepare for my demise
But when the push comes to the shove
the choice is no surprise.

"There's no way this choice is wrong,"
I mutter with a sigh,
"I've been alone for much too long,
and I can't imagine why."

I wondered if I could be hung
from the second story balcony
Screams from people could be wrung
and people would remember me.

A gun was what I chose instead
As in life, so in death was the excuse
I shot myself right in the head
but perhaps I should have used the noose...