Memoirs Eternal: Infernal

O.k. So I have to explain a few things...Before someone tells me I suck at writing or something...Because that will just prove that you are very close minded and what not...Because if you actually do some thinking...and reflect on what you read as you read it...It makes more sense than you'll know...And you'll find tons of meanings within...

(It's about a demon, and angel...They were in love then someday god took his love away so he despises God for creating him a demon and not having been given a choice so he could be with his love...and it's a diary...Also I purposely made it so it's not all straight forward...you're supposed to feel my writing more than actually understanding every single detail...Its more effective that way...anyway...)

I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT!!! 

Prt.1

Les Lettres D'amours




Love Is, As Life Belongs, Mortal In Fate, As Death

    It was silent. Atop that monolith, all which laid quiet, in rest, seemed beautiful. It was not. I knew. Behind that stained glass window, I waited patiently. Solace, bathed in vibrant glows, within reveries, I knew what awaited my waking dreams. Outside of such warmth; cold reality. Ruins of what was left behind, of sanity, humanity. The nature of all mortal entities. I've waited patiently. Cursed to this cathedral. This "sanctuary".
    Ageless time flows, lethargic; grows as the trees of old. Amidst this bloodless clockwork, streams lie petrified. Will no leaves, placid, flourish? Not for me. Not this time...not this time. Their branches, within gentle air, so sweet, will not sway. Caustic, at my face, will tear, within acid whispers; a seasons death. They, though ceaselessly perennial; immortal, as traditional, were endowed with such a coma. Of renaissance entranced. Much as are, celestial, corpses delicate. Their aromas, sacrosanctity; so palatial.
    The art of rebirth; blooming. The art of death; release. The art of incandescence; smoldering. The art of lucid numbness; immaculate. Still I lay. Always to remain, to say, "God, why hath thee forsaken me!? Father, where do your answers bleed!?"...Still they pray...
    The chrysanthemums will wilt away, wither, then melt away...slowly. They will be left upon graves unknown, as simply, forgotten. Petals, fallen, forsaken, soon, will decay. For those deathless, the breathless, hearts, sing abandoned; melancholia . Never to be known, as amorous. Adoration, never will they feel, never be in veils, so glamorous. As was my once, now lost, inamorata. Never will they dance with he, who reaps, to be, cadaverous. Love will, as old hearts, fail. All enamored, once all known voiceless, has been sung, from life, will dwindle, subside...become cadaverous. The ageless, never will they love, never will they fall, as will petals fade, post-fallen, prelude to malediction, excommunication followed, then damnation. Timeless, achromatic, bloodless. Forever everlasting...forever unloved. Such life, so melodramatic. They will never die, simply sleep...To wake, to weep...Endlessly.
Where is salvation?
    I, no more pray the lord my soul to keep. For, from my first pulse, he, my blood has spat upon, of me, gave birth a malady. I am the deathless, loveless, faithless, abandoned one. The blasphemy. I belong to no one. I belong within none. I am nothing, no one...I solely, will always be...I simply remain...Watching, waiting...
    The softest memory, it seeps back to me..."Will you watch from above...for me...my sole beloved?"...Nothing but a memory...long ago, departed...I gaze above, with eyes of this woeful child, much less a devil, still, as wretched known to be, lonesome, bleak. "Vile", the said. "Such an abomination this demon child"...I looked up to the sky, to emulate, the rain as it fell so cold...so cold...alone...my love, I, as a lost child beg...come take me home!


Ticks, Tocks, Their Sorrow I Breathe, I Wallow

    Those stars...the stars have never been so exquisitely bright. My light...my light it burns. It burns away. They gleam, I dim. What have they to offer? Of what, could I, from such, redeem? They are merely substance, placed above, to be adored, they will forever more, simply adorn the skies. What purpose have they been given? Have they ever, comfort, bestowed, those, who in screams of silence, cry?
    I simply dim, as I search for a greater purpose to life. They, do nothing, as to remain pinned to the blackness of twilight, nothing but shine. Vanity consumed, apathetically within self worth; its devotions, perfumed. Yes, they shine within their eyes. They all love them so. They love them all so much. I remain dim. Whom will embrace such a sin?
    Rather they attempt in grasping halos, yet are execrated, for their filth covered hands. While I, I grow sickly from all...still I love them so. I love them all so sacrificially; such mortification I am deemed. The stars they remain intangible to all feeble fingers, out stretched for a single touch. They will never touch.
    I offer, my every strand of light, of hope, of love, forgiveness, my breaths; I asphyxiate. Still, within disdain, I will always, remain. They all wish, adore...for what they simply may, will never attain. What solely will never, their flaws, let a single trace of a finger smooth across its face. To the gleaming lights, forever they shall remain; disgraced. Yet I, am strewn across the floor; crucified, inviting, forgiving, forever more. Never will they see, the lights have left them so, blind. I alone, will love them, enduring such misery. They will never see...merely step upon, dance upon me...
    Yet I remain dim, never fading, forgiving, always loving them so, never forsaking, 'nor condemning, as all those ever so hypocritical; ones hallow...heretical; whome stripped of grace ever more so necromantic, it is. For they as well, have been known to fall. Heaven allows no redemption, for the tainted souls.
Angels may fall yet demons shall never rise.
    So welcome, welcome. "I welcome you all. Even those who may, into this world come crashing, those who have fallen...come, crash into me...". All those fallen, brilliant stars...which once have shunned...now I will make them shine, ever more truly. Those shooting stars...Will I wish upon?...No...


...Endlessly...

    Upon many wonders, I have gazed, across these centuries of living. If that is what you would call it. As well, afflictions, numbered more than breaths I have taken, in these abounding days, of trials; throe. I have beheld it all within perception. As lies upon a kiss, to kisses upon the lies. I have seen two lovers kiss, two lovers lie. I have seen two lovers kiss to hide their lies.
    I have seen two lovers lie as they kissed, with lips so pale, drained of all which was once, an unbreakable romance. They once swayed beneath the willows, weeping as they parted until dawn. So beautiful they were, so long ago. A vibrant paradise, hitherto, is where once, they called their sanctum, for love entwined, across the ends of time. This shrine; clandestine. Seeded, an altar poised a boy; so coy. Where life had been so willing of sacrifice. A heart, to one endeared, worthy, betrothed... ... ...chest, slits so wide, left to bleed...this offering, burned for idols; futile.
In these days, hearts somnolent, seep. Within, arms of sin; enfold. Between legs of roses; whores, entwined. A passion, thorned; seething, pulsating. Masked in cinders; she quivers. Lips parted; stems ruptured. Somewhere below, this flower; admired. Caresses such within, I twirl, these twists; Blooming flesh. Onto my tongue, does flow; ambrosial lust. Her lips burst in rapture! Love turned cold, lust burns. That which disintegrates, decays. Left desolate, alone. Never were they gently laid down, to break...'nor even ever, "kissed goodbye". Merely shattered left to lay...lips, desiccated, athirst...dismayed; a lovers lie.
Within that empty paradise; filled, a garden, with utmost radiant florets. Sadly, such souls, solely ever felt the thorns, which of scorn, escort so gracefully. So gently perforated through. Reaching in, aside such pulchritudinous ivy, efflorescently enthralling; this delicate beatitude. Only to redeem a poison known by the breath of lust...
Today I saw myself within shattered reflections. I picked up their shards, and ground them all to dust......
......................................................
.......My dearest, from life, from me hath thee been taken? It is you I love, it is you I will always.
My promise shall never die, for it was spoken in truth. I can love none other than that, of which is you. Gone, though you may be, I will, still more, love you, eternally. None other, this, my soul, I've gifted you.

"I will gladly lay you down to sleep"...Oh how I miss...
"Onto a thousand petals, dream"...whispering such words to you, my love...
"I will swallow your sorrows"...I, frail, beloved pearl, miss you so...
"Crush ten thousand thorns"...my eyes turn pale; as you had always been so delicate...
"and bleed"...

    Precious as the life yourself, you, have so cherished, you, will unremittingly, abide within my own...we will someday meet, somewhere along these paths of coils, of moans...where we once again, will then belong. 'Till then, of late; de novo. My heart doth ache. I wail; preternatural. For you my love; encore, I shall, forever more...your depart; of an angel, mourn...
Sleep well, my divine child. As your demon will stay to sing this lullaby...

"Sweetly My Lady Lovely Smiles"

Sweetly my lady, in laces; silk; as tranquil, swathed

Smile, will my lady as I'll sing...

Blithe, leaves my lady, as traces; silk, in graceful sways

(Smile. Will my lovely as I sing...?)

I will wait for you...endlessly...

A perfect love. Always smiling

( Will you wait for me?)

Sweetly my lady, in laces; silk; as tranquil, swathed

Smile, will my lady as I'll sing...

Of perfect love. She'll be smiling

Blithe, leaves my lady, as traces; silk, in graceful sways

(Smile. Will my lovely as I sing...?) 

Gracefully swathed 

Our perfect love will reign

Tranquilly swaying

Our perfect love...In fate...

Prt.2

The Faithless...The Faithful
Those In Bloom...Those Fruitless
Those Whose Fate Is Death...Those Whose Fate Is Eternal
...Suffering...

    One hundred years, and three have passed. The century had wasted beneath the steps of time, still I...stood enduring; rooted as the blossomed anemones. Some one once told me, "Live for the present. Let die, all which lives within the past. Let the future, in questions lie". The words of a fool, they are. As I, will some, say of me. "Such a pity. Never did he know to live. 'Till death, a mere woman, as any other; such commodities, is which, for that he bled". Such disease, oh God, your humanity creates; dissolved in morals. Rustic, their souls I have dismissed to stark, demise. Damn them all who spoke such filth, those words! My love was no mere creature. Not of man, 'nor of devils; pitiful. My love! She was every flower as the daffodils, my fields of stars, the glaxonies, as for the lilies-of-the-valley, my bells of chastity, which aesthetically, within my thoughts, shall resonate! She looked inside...embraced my heart! I held hears tightly...asking."Never let our hands, our hearts, or souls depart." This demon, she alone has loved him so! This loathsome heart! My gray soul; aphotic! My life, she sanctified , of ail, torment, horrors, sorrow; never from my eyes did flow...rivulets from that lake of rage, despair, of hopelessness. Instead, onto my hands, enchanted streams. From mine, a hollow sight spilled forth. Drifted my lovely, along side of me...softly, floating amidst her estuary.
    I, submerged, below her stare; confined I watched her eyes glitter as the night. Though much more resplendence adorned, my love, than all those sparkled remnants of Heaven owned; all other angels, upon her arrival, lorn. Not one single kiss have I for granted, taken; grateful, eternal I, hers alone, to whom belong. Beneath my worthless flesh is sown. Of my love, devotions worn, as elegant, such laces white. Traces forever will remain; broken lights across the olden floors of stones. Where dust has settled, luminescence hung, mangled, dancing. Where once, we ourselves had danced, so ravished, in candle light...we laid cuddled. Surrounding, were flickering glows. It was warm, so warm in each another's arms. We never let go...we never let go. We never wanted to. Still I, will not let go. Never will I let fall, to break, such a promise. I will hold onto her heart even through the ends of Heaven, of Hell, as Earth will follow.
    Once all is diminished, destroyed, non-existent. Our love cherished, will reign divine, together, across those timeless trials...we have rose. Our love's symphony, shall in silence, chime. Arise all who have directed, so blight in full, composed, this melody. Will it resound within the encore, for which they have applauded. Shall it echo as a noise? Descending, silver frosted, gleams. Lightly, soothing is the sound beneath my feet. Mute. Blithely, soothing melts onto my skin. Those lucid pearls; blissful, of which I've been so destitute. I've loved you always, I love you always, I forever will love you...always. Mists of doubtful ones, shrouds as ignorance; is breathed, to speak. I watch the skeptics, to me, seemed pantomime.
A silenced movie, never will I care to hear them speak, of love. For they know nothing. Sought, by the common man; sins of death, deceit, of lusts indulged. They truly do not know of love. Even less will they ever know of true love. I saw. This I saw. I, I have waited patiently. Unseen, along side trailing relics, of God's dearly, beloved; silhouettes, of somber effulgence. From faith they walk, stumble, stray; steps, unheard, oblique. Unseen, thankless, legions still oblivious, if not, merely, made a mockery. Of such an offering. The lamb of God. Perfect, and pure. As I have been. Upon the walls, which in time crumble. Upon the earth, was left to crawl; my flesh lies torn as I...as I, they had fashioned so. Such a fabrication; cursed to witness all, love, as peace; disowned.
    This, he let allow. This existence, in which Judas, flowed; that familiar bloodline. Infernal, a kiss was all of which he reaped. He had loved, your "savior", even had been loved by thee. In the final moment, from the first, fate had been seeded; had this day, bore fruit. One ambrosial, of bitterness, unknown; damnable, are those same lips of the human rank and file. Still, he loves them so! Even when their mouths are, morbidly filled; with intoxicants, defiled! Bleeding rust into the trees, the flowers, the soil has been perverted, of feet, malodorous, walked upon. Still I, remain in screams, to weep! For I! For you my love, this full, single, flowered rose, I leave for thee!...I will always, love solely you. I will wait for you in torment, relentlessly. Take this one as well, my love, this violet blue. Furthermore this blossom, of orange color, hue. They doth taunt mine, memories of ages mortified. Where I, once smiled. Where she, once parted her lips to form those, of which I so adored, her smiles. Where we, held our love so dear, so cherished we had been. We, in parades, wandered paths of ancient trials, we conquered all...we conquered all, still we could not, as to a single verdict, whisper. Judgment lies within our fate! From birth, until that day, when a certain trumpet, will sounded be...the one of our so called father's reckoning...
    I creep across your necropolis, this day my love, it rains. Upon your grave my sweet, I lay, these flowers down. The ashes falling; mourning, as I kneel. This camellia, a carnation; pink, twain. This crimson rose, my angel, these alone I have to offer. As well this, delicate primrose, along with a scarlet infant rose; A tear of silks, so bittersweet. Strange, they'll never grow this time of year...still I will bring you these... I will do so; lay them upon the fallen pines, whom from they have come crashing, will never return as ashes, will never turn to dust. Only those whom mortally rest, in sleep, shall be blown, into the air; deliberation; release. These seeds within my hand, I hold. One seed, of red carnations. Another, of heathers; white. Though fruitless, these may be...I have, I will, always smell them, as I breathe...breathe the memories...the sorrows...those memoirs haunting; of you, of me.
    Those humans; imperfect beings, flawed unfaithful in the eyes of God...those memoirs haunting; of you, of me...where we once laid in faithful adoration...




The Dreams Of The Absent:


Sleeping With Ghosts

"My love...I have never left this place...our paradise...
...This is where you told me to wait...where you said you'd return...
...You will come back to me you said...I believed you will...
...One day...Someday...As for now...I will simply wait...as I have promised...
...Within that place we called our own...our sanctuary...
...You remember?...I do...that monument...
...The place where we would flee...within ourselves...one...another...
...Away from humanity...my love I will be waiting here for you...
...I will be waiting...in that place...where it has always been...
...Just you...and me...Endlessly...
...Still I wait...forever yours...
...your one and only..."


Wraiths Of Love

"...Goodbye for now...I'll see you again some day...
...We will always be together...in each of ourselves...
...Hold on......I will never leave...so don't let go o.k?...
...You would never let me fall...I know...
...So now you do see?...you or I will never be alone...
...We will just both simply be...waiting for the day...
...That day when I finally come home...
...Home...back in your arms...
...That place where I, fit perfectly...
...That place where I, solely belong..."


The Flowers, Writhe To Grey

"...I have been so lonely without you...
...I feel my soul is fading...I am nothing without you...
...I'm fading...do you still, believe in me?...
...Do you still believe in us?...
...Am I not real?...Are you not real?
...You have always been so surreal...still I believed...
...Celestial...so perfect...you have always been my angel...
...Ethereal...my love...I am nothing...You were once my guardian...
...I fear I'm fading...
...Come to me...please keep me safe from their humanity...
...Ever since that day you disappeared...
...I have suffered...so helplessly...I still remain
...Merely, as this frightened child...
...I am after all...simply a child inside...can't you see?...
...Come back soon...it hurts to breathe...
...I lay...in I fear you've forgotten me...
...Do you no longer believe in me?...in us?...
...My dearly one so sweet...I fear I'm fading...
...I must hear you speak those words to me...I fear...I fear...
...My sole amour...
...I will pray...Your pity...upon my own ardor...
...I fear I'm slipping...I fear my heart...is no more beating...
...I fear...I am fading...
...F..a...d....i..n.........g...
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d........i......n...g.....
..................................."


Silence, Can You Hear Me?

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THE END FOR NOW..........