~WHY I BLEED~

enchanted mirror -
you show me what i want to see
what i need to be
- i find you in razorblades and kitchen knives

i don't know why i bleed for you
why i bleed for me
why i bleed to see
some faint and fadin' signs of life

and i don't know why i'm back again
couldn't tell you why i don't stop
or if i'm at the bottom or the top;
if i'm getting worse or better

i can't honestly tell you anything:
if i really want to improve
or if i'd rather lose
and if i think it's worth it.

yeah, you- i'll never tell you.
there's certain things you'll never know
you know my face but not my soul
and see my scars but not my pain.

but then again-
you're my own reflection
my very own spiritual infection
and as i stain you with my blood you know.

i snap out

and here i lie
bleeding again
after i said i was fine
that i was feeling no pain

a eerie light
bathes in the room
it's the luminous energy
that exudes from my wound

i snap out
and see blood on the wall;
too much of it mine,
i weaken and fall

the energy
that first permeated
and filled all with benevolence
soon saturated.

my cries for no more
were drowned by it
and i wasn't even waken
by the sound as my body hit.

i snap out
and wake up in a bed not my own.
but had i dreamt it all
and why was i not home?

i find my body tied down
still i know my cuts are there
and though i writhe
my wrist is forever bare.

and so as i lie on the couch
telling my life story
telling my delusions
in all their faded glory,

i snap out
and pick up the blade
and cut through old scars-
through the lies i've made.