ALMOST

When young i was innocent as a flower,

my soul was white as winter.

That time seemed as short as an hour,

before my life began to violently splinter.

It all started when my dad became ill,

the doctors called it Bipolar.

Now his emotions were never still,

and my life began getting colder.

I cried myself to sleep every night,

to the sound of my fathers yell.

In my bed i cowered in fright,

wondering if this was what it was like in hell.

He kept on getting worse,

the doctors said there was no cure.

All he ever did was curse,

my outlook on life was no longer pure.

Then he went completely crazy,

luckily me and my brother were there to save our mom.

At this point is all seems hazy,

how he went off on me like a bomb.

All of a sudden i was being thrown about,

but i kept on fighting for my mother.

The third time i was completely knocked out,

i woke up to seem him fighting my brother.

For the next three months we remained in hiding,

and my dad stayed in a cushioned room.

Words of depression were what i began writing,

i went on with life in a living tomb.

We finally got to go back home,

a father is what i began to need.

I'd never in my life felt so alone,

thats when my arms began to bleed.

The feel of the metal against my once unmarked skin,

caused me to feel great pain.

But chased away the pain from within,

i felt as though i had nothing to lose and nothing to gain.

But it just wasn't enough,

i grabbed my friend and headed out.

The decision i made was tough,

But i didn't have one doubt.

I raised the knife ready for everything to end,

and took a deep breath to stay calm.

But i couldn't do this to my mom my one and only friend,

so i reluctantly lowered my palm.

I ditched the knife and headed back,

I wanted onle one thing.

To get my life back on track,

i turned to the one and only King.

God became my always perfect dad,

he helped me through each and every day.

Sometimes i still get sad,

but i know in the lon grun i'll be okay.