Love Suicide

Lonely in this big world that we live,
Never to love or be loved by anyone,
Sitting here seeing romances and happy faces,
Yet a frown hangs upon this lonely face of mine,
And day by day I realize that nothing is meant to be,
And night by night I dream of better days,
And yet in my dreams I find only sadness,
Only the loneliness that I have experienced,
And this loneliness starts to rise around me,
And as it seeps into my skin,
I feel nothing but coldness and anguish,
I am to drown in my own loneliness,
Never to speak again,
Never to rise again,
Never to love or be loved,
No hope inside my soul,
And the coldness pierces my heart,
Sliding through like the blade of a knife,
Sinking deeper until it has nowhere else to go,
The stinging pain is unbearable,
And nothing is there to stop my heart from breaking,
The crack has started,
And now it begins to shatter,
Fragile as glass and just as sharp,
My heart is no more,
No longer can I breathe,
The pain I feel inside has killed me,
And now I lay upon this cold floor,
Not breathing,
Not hearing,
Not speaking,
Forever sleeping,
I am gone,
And my world starts to fade away into darkness,
As I fall into the black abyss of death,
And as my body lies there,
I see the faces,
Faces of those who are saddened,
And I wonder what I have done,
I try to shake it from my head,
I open my eyes,
The barrel still pressed into my head,
My finger shakes,
I know what I must do,
To end the pain,
But what pain would I cause,
What hearts would I break,
My finger tightens,
And I see it all again,
My body limp upon the floor,
The sad faces,
The broken hearts,
I wonder when this nightmare will end,
Lay down this piece I say,
And I reach for the knife,
And on a note I have sprawled,
I hold in my hand,
Folded neatly,
Tucked between my skin and the knife,
I feel the sting,
It slid in easily as if I was butter,
And my hand is bloodied,
My hand falters and shakes,
And in my heart the knife is sheathed,
A twist of the wrist and I fall,
The note still in my hand,
I lay in a growing puddle,
The note slips from the hand into the puddle,
And on this note are strong words that read,
I will always love her even in death,
If only she had loved me too.