Still Sitting

i'm stilling sitting awake at three in the morning ....

in my bed big enough for two.. but as  i look over i see no you ..

i'm still sitting waitng for your call..

wondering if your thinking of me at all

i'm cring without your arms of comfort and your eyes of care...

still sitting wondering if in my future you'll be there..

i'm still sitting here & the sun is rising ..

meanwhile i feel my soul slowly dieing

still sitting  the long the wait become the more i see my sanity come undone ..

still sitting as the snow begins to melt and the flowers begin to bloom ..

still sitting as they yell me name and then happiness becomes gloom..

still sitting here hoping to be taken away ..

still sitting as i run from the word i must say

still sitting as the scars become worse..

still sitting as pain become my curse ..

still sitting as my dreams fade and my hopes shatter

still sitting as i become beaten and batterd....

still sitting as they act as they care ..

but as i reach for their help the disapper

still sitting in the shadow of sarrow ..

hoping that never shall it become tomarrow

still ssitting as i slip away in slow dispare if who i've become ..

still sittinghere drowning in the things i've done..

still sitting as my gaurds fall

and i continue to build a wall of emotion..

still sitting as my tears become and ocean...

still sitting as my life slowly goes down the drain

............ knowing no matter what i can't fix the pain

still sitting the foot steps of my ghosts become louder & the darkness within grows.

still sitting as the thougts i have nobody knows ..

still sitting as my sight becomes inparred & my stength becomes my weakness..

still sitting as i wish you could see this ..who i have become a person i don't reconize..

still sitting as the tears contiue to fall from my eyes..

still sitting as my youth grows thin ..

still sitting as i place another razor to my skin...

still still as the blood begins to flow . and i place the gun 2 my head ,

still sitting and i pull the triger

and i'll still be sitting when you discove that i'm dead ...