my goodbye

im going to make one last cut

im sorry to say but my life really sucks

hopefully its to deep

im sorry to say but that was a promise i couldnt keep

dont beg my not to

ive made my decision

ive also thought out my plan and seen the vision

im tired of this pain and misery

when the blood pours out i think about  my offering

no one loves me

and  if they do then why wont they just take a second to see

that im a  scared lost depressed girl

without a reason for living

my lifes gone

its been this way all along

and what about my real dad

to bad i never knew him

but now i wont ever get a chance to meet him for the first time

are you going to keep lying mommy

when you look me in the eyes

what about the fact that you and i were raped

and im just a joke

when i herd that from my step dad rob i just about choked

dont be sad

please dont run away

it'll all get better one day

thats all you ever say to me

fuck you dont talk to me that way

i dont believe your pathetic lies

i wont anymore

what about you and my brother robby why did you choose to ignore him for 6 years of his life?

that  causes so much strife

it makes me want to end my life

what about when my step dad mark hit you

and me gill and hannah didnt know what to do

should we choose you or him

or should we go with them

what about when we were homeless

at that time i felt so hopeless

and the times when mark would hit me

i always had to hide the bruises

so you and him wouldnt fight

and one of you loozes

my life has been this way year after year

 and i havent been able to stop crying it just keeps flowing tear after tear

estevan didnt leave me because of his home life

he left me because of all the shit you and mark put me through and he couldnt handle me being on the edge like this all the time

and thats part of why i had to leave you

and throw away my life in order to put the past behing