***1-800-SAV-A-DIC***

"Woman chops off sleeping man's penis and drops from moving car!" Don't laugh, it is true, and it can happen to you!!

Right now thousands of agitated, irate women have read that headline and are contemplating similar action against you the next time you make an unwanted sexual advance, look at them the wrong way, or just upset them in general!!

MEN PROTECT YOURSELVES NOW!!

If you found yourself a victim of CDS (Chop and Drop Syndrome) could you be sure the appropriate authorities would find your chopped member in time and intact?? Could you be sure the penis part they found was yours??

Inquire now about our low-cost PenisProtectionPlan! *

Plan 1: We'll register your penis and scrotum, plus tattoo them with their own unique registration number, ensuring that in case of separation, you will get a perfect match every time.

Plan 2: Our Jurassic prick program. We'll take a cell sample from your penis and clone replacement parts for you in the event a trailer-tractor runs over your penis, or some wild animal mistakes your detached member for a chew toy.

Plan 3: For those of you who believe in prevention, we offer a one size fits all, battery-operated, stainless steel jockstrap that can be worn when necessary. When you are asleep an alarm will be activated when metal or other hazardous objects come within one foot of the jockstrap. This will guarantee you a full nights sleep, free of worry.

Don't get caught short ...

Call 1-800-SAV-A-DIC today!!!!!

Remember ... the dick you save could be your own!!

PRICES VARY ACCORDING TO SIZE.