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YOU DON'T KNOW JACK SHIT

Views(3410) Created(5-2-07) Category ( Dirty )

Jack was the only son of Awe and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married his third cousin twice removed, O. Schitt, the daughter of the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married another cousin, Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie, Fulla, Giva, Bull, and the twins, Deep and Dip.

Against her parents’ objections, Deep Schitt married a distant cousin, Dumb, a high school dropout.

Sadly, after 15 years of wedded bliss, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe later remarried, finding true love in the arms of local merchant Ted Sherlock. Because several of her children were still living with her, Noe decided to retain her previous married name as well. Thus she was known around town as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Time passed, and one of the twins, Dip Schitt, married yet another cousin, Loda, eventually producing a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt.

Two of the remaining daughters, Fulla and Giva were inseparable throughout childhood. After high school, they both became enamored of two of the Happens brothers, both local football heroes. The dual-ceremony wedding, the event of the social season, was announced in the local paper as the "Schitt-Happens Marriage."

The Schitt-Happens offspring included Dawg, Bird, and Hoarse. Dawg joined the Navy, saw the world, and eventually returned with his lovely Italian bride, Pisa.

Pisa is currently pregnant. Members of the extended Schitt family are wracking their brains to come up with a name for the baby.


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On June 10th 2008 KitsuneMomo Said :
KitsuneMomo They should name it Baga Schitt (Bag of Shit)
On April 17th 2008 stratapanda Said :
my picture
if its a girl, name it Ima
On April 17th 2008 stratapanda Said :
my picture
if its a girl, name it Ima
On February 6th 2008 mkmblondie101 Said :
mkmblondie101 how bout igess
On January 12th 2008 fuckyocouchtt Said :
my picture
name it little
On August 9th 2007 squiggles123 Said :
squiggles123 omg that sucks to have such gay names
On July 18th 2007 stuHTID Said :
stuHTID ste ming is a good name
On July 14th 2007 schsgirly00 Said :
my picture
i am gay
On May 24th 2007 privonne Said :
privonne damm? effin?
On May 21st 2007 mooseduck112 Said :
mooseduck112 expensive could be one lol
On May 13th 2007 pinkfroggy24 Said :
pinkfroggy24 hilarious!!!!!!!don giva!!!he that's good!!!!!
On May 12th 2007 ElComino68 Said :
ElComino68 hahahahahahaha this is hilarious, ironicly those are all my familys knicknames!!!
On May 10th 2007 RagdollKirstie Said :
RagdollKirstie that is so funny! wow how would you like to have a family full oh Schitt's. hahahaha
On May 10th 2007 nogoodnames Said :
my picture
i think that its a t-shirt to from some where i forget
On May 6th 2007 glamourgore Said :
glamourgore Heard it, seen the flash video of it. Funny, but old.