Signs its time to upgrade your com

10 - Your graphics accelerator card is connected to the treadmill in your hamsters cage.
9 - The smoke and fumes from your CPU are beginning to affect your health.
8 - The only sound you get from your sound card is "cough, cough...wheeze."
7 - The magnifying glass in front of your tiny monitor is starting to melt the plastic casing.
6 - You attempt to connect to a site with graphics and you receive a pop-up window saying "You're kidding, right?"
5 - The start button on your taskbar says "Give it your best shot."
4 - You find yourself drilling holes in your floor or desktop to hold your 'puter in place while it's running.
3 - Your idea of multimedia is turning on the stereo in the next room.
2 - Your email comes back with postage due.
1 - You have to "crankstart" it like an old model "T".