The Cuban Funeral

The Cuban Funeral

The Family was choked when the casket arrived from Miami of dear Auntie Josephine.

The body was so tight-up you could see the face sticking up on the visor. When they open the casket

They fond a letter stickled to the body which read the following:

Dear MOM & DADDY

I am sending the remaining of Auntie Josephine .To be buried in Cuba as her last wishes

Sorry, if I couldn’t accompany it but you will understand that I occurred a lot expenses with the

Arrangements. Taking the opportunity I am Sending with the body of Auntie:

12 Cans of Tuna “Bumble Bee”12 Bottles of Hair Condition12 of Shampoo “Paul Mitchell”

12 Can’s of Vaseline Intensive Care (just for the skin, please do not use it to cook or fry)12 Tooth Paste “Crest”12 Tooth Brushes 12 Cans of Spam the good ones (Spanish)4 Cans of Chorizo El Nino share it among the Family but please do not fight over it. Auntie’s is wearing a pair of new “Reeboks”

Size 39 for Josesito, as you know with uncle’s body we did send him nothing and he got Mad.

Auntie is also wearing 4 new soft caps for the kids of Antonio they are different colors , please

Do not fight over it! Auntie is wearing 15 sweaters they are “Ralph Lauren”

One is for Robertito the others for Son’s and Grandkids She is also wearing one dozen of Bras “Wonder Bra” My favorite divide it among the women, also 20 bottles Of nail polish “Revlon” You will find it in side of the Casket. The three dozen of panties Auntie is wearing

Is to be divided among my nieces and cousins. Auntie is also wearing 3 pair of “Dockers” and 2 pair of

“Lee” jeans the Dockers are for daddy and the Jean for The kids, the Gold watch that he asked is in the

Wrist and bracelets that mom asked with the rings, The gold chain is for Rebecca and the ring on the feet.

The (8) pair of pantyhose she’s wearing it is to Divide among the women or better yet mom could

Sell it in the “black Market”. The Dentures we placed on Auntie is for Grammy It may don’t be the perfect size but as long she doesn’t chew too hard will do it for now. The Bifocals is for Alfredo it may not be the perfect Grade but it was very expensive at Wal-Mart. The Eyes auntie is wearing are fake made of glass remove it the sockets and inside you will find the Gold Chain for Gustavo and the expensive diamond ring for the weeding of Maria also the Golden highlighter wig that auntie is wearing she will make a lovely bride.

With Love You daughter

Carmencita

P.S.1 Please find some old clothes to dress auntie for the Funeral also have a Mass of body

Present. She really helps a lot even after dead may God have mercy on her. Do not forget to strip

The Casket with the white Satin make the weeding Dress for Maria and the wood fix mom’s

Old bed if there’s any remaining wood make a table for the kitchen.

P.S.2 With the notice of Auntie Josephine dead Auntie Isabel fall ill. If there’s any advance

Demands from Miami please let me know as soon as possible