Sex Jokes....

Q. Why is a woman's pussy like a warm toilet seat?
A. They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.

Q. What is the first sign of AIDS?
A. A pounding sensation in the ass.

Q. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
A. Gagged

Q. What is the Difference Between Pussy and Apple Pie?
A. You can eat your mom's apple pie.

Q. Why do women pierce their bellybutton?
A. Place to hang their air freshener.

Q. Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls?
A. They're going to call her Old Spice.

Q. What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease?
A. One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running cunt

Q. What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A. Yell at her.

Q. What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Q. What do women and police cars have in common?
A. They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

Q. Why do female skydivers wear jock straps?
A. So they don't whistle on the way down.

Q. Why did the woman cross the road?
A. Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?

Q. Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow?
A. So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.

Q. Why can't women read maps?
A. Because only the male mind can comprehend the concept of 1 inch equals a mile.

Q. What's a virgin and a balloon have in common ?
A. All it takes is one prick and its all over.

Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A. After five years your job will still suck.

Q. What do you get when you cross a rooster and peanut butter?
A. A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

Q. Why do women prefer old gynaecologists?
A. Their shaky hands!

Q. What is better than a cold Bud?
A. A warm bush.

Q. What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use some lubricant.

Q. Why are women like Kentucky Fried Chicken?
A. After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.