101 Things to do in tesco

101 Things To Do In Tesco

Run Past the fizzy drinks with your hands out. Knock them all down and enjoy the scene of a load of bouncing cans and foam.

Play Football In The Wine Section

Dress The Manikins How You Feel Suits Them Best

Trolley races

Paintball war. Using the manikins as “human” shields

Slip Condoms In Random Peoples Trolley

Borrow some sport equipment and play tennis with the fruit

See how many isles you can throw a manikin over.

TP the isles

Stock a trolley full of condoms and see the horrified looks at the check-out

Go up to an assistant. Cross your legs and shout at them “I need a tampon!!!!”

Trolley drive-by. Your friend in the trolley with a load of eggs. You push and randomly attack passer-by’s

Slap someone with a fish.

Find the longest isle and play chicken with the trolleys (with you in them)

Run around naked and terrorise old women

Try on ladies underwear above your normal cloths walk around and see if anyone notices.

Push tampons up your nose and say “I had a nose bleed”

Put as many objects in your cloths as possible. When someone notices drop all the items and run out the door. Se what they do.

Push the kid of the pay-&-ride ride and jump on shouting “doesn’t this thing go any faster they are catching up!”

Walk around Tesco talking to thin air as if there is someone there. Start saying things like “how could you do this to me!” & break down in a tantrum on the floor.

Make a fort out of potatoes.

Try and catch a quick nap at the entrance. If some tries to move you. Say you live there.

Stand in a freezer shouting “year 3000 here I come!”

Follow someone around the store till they leave

Go to the meat counted ask for everything on display. Once its all bagged say “Fuck It, im not hungry”

Take a condom out its box and start masturbating. Say “I Want to see if it fits. The box says I need an erection first”

Walk off with someone’s trolley. Don’t say any thing or look at them…just walk.

Throw random objects into neighbouring isles

Stand and stare at a teddy.

Sit in the middle of the toy isle caressing a doll while repeatedly saying “It OK Betty. The clown cant find us here”

When the store announcement comes on. Cover your ears and fall to the floor screaming “Not the voice again! GO AWAY!”

Fit yourself in a trolley. Get a friend to push you in the trolley line and start shouting “Dr Evil Let Me Out!”

Walk pass shoppers looking at clothes and loudly say “Who Buys This Shit!”

Shit in a random spot shouting “clean up on isle 4!”

Jump in someone’s trolley shouting “WEEEEE!!”

Take items of shopping out of peoples trolleys saying “that’s not healthy!”

Run up the a security guard and hit him with ham.

Have a game of rugby and see how many people you can get to join.

Get a newspaper, put your arm underneath and shout “iv got a gun get the fuck down!” Then count how many people hit the deck. This is your score.

Walk on the conveyer belt and get your daily exercise.

Find the CD player which is playing music. Remove the CD and place music inside which you enjoy most.

Talk to one of the sample mobile phones. Wait a few moments and shout “why don’t they answer!!!”

Play bowls with the fruit

Lay on one of the shelf’s and place items in front of you so no one can see you. Jump out screaming when someone passes by.

Stick Toxic Signs on products.

Army Crawl around the store while going “CHERR. This is 007, I don’t think anyone has spotted me. Over and out. CHERRR.”

Get in a trolley & act retarded. Get a friend to push you around while you randomly shout “TIMMEH!!”

Line up all the action men & power rangers as though they were about to go to war.

Take bets on who will win the war.

Make the Barbie’s and action men assume sex positions and make rude noises.

Walk in wearing holiday clothes (flip-flops etc) and stay rapping randomly while your friends push away bystanders saying “VIP. G-Unit coming Through”

Get some deodorant and make the spray shoot from behind you. Run around the store while doing so & shout “Wow! This really does make you go faster”

See how many glasses you can fit on your head.

Go down on your hands and knees. Get some friends to see how many items they can fit on you. Randomly Start Kicking and bucking while shouting “Buckeroooooo!”

Play with the automatic doors

Walk out the toilets with a friend while saying loudly “Fuck me that’s been in there for ages. Thanks for your help.”

Run around throwing straws everywhere.

Buy a candy bar and pay for it at a check out. Walk out. Repeat going to the same till until they notice.

Go up to assistants and ask “Do you sell dildos”

Shout “Rat!!” Randomly

Jump on shoppers backs and time how long you can stay on for. Repeat until you get a satisfactory time.

Find a bouncy ball and throw it as had as possible around the wine section.

Quickly get on your bike and go as fast as you can into the store. See how long you can stay on for. Then get your friend to do it & see if they can beat our score.

Drop an item and kindly ask someone if they can pick it up. When they bend down get out a megaphone and make fart noises.

Start a conga line

When you see something saying free sample. Feel free to eat as much as possible.

Have a game of tag.

Bring in your pet dog and begin to ask it what it would like to eat

Put heavy metal, dark cloths and as much dark and gothic items in your trolley as possible. Then place a pokemon teddy on top of the pile.

Rub butter on the floor and other slippy products. Ta Da! Your own skating rink.

Sit in the café area and grab a “men’s magazine”. Make yourself conformable and enjoy. (Order a drink if you must)

If the floor is tiled. Avoid all the lines.

Is the floor is checked avoid all black tiles

Grab a lamp and rub hard. Then start shouting “I Know Your In There! My Book says your hidden in a lamp!”

Ask for all the cigarettes they have. When they give you them stamp on them all and calmly say “I’m saving lives”

Challenge a passer-by to a duel with baguettes

Place ginger bread men in random spots around the store.

Pick your nose in front of the security cameras

Make a new masterpiece in the makeup isle using the cosmetics available.

Get wasted in the alcohol isle.

Run around humming the batman theme

Race your friends to the end of the store. Your only allowed to go forwards and must climb over the object in the way.

Ask an assistance if the store has super powers. If the assistance is curious, say “this is a super market is it not?”

Try to memorize all the workers names.

Make a sex tape and manage to screen it on the preview TV’s

Sit in the changing room shouting “Help im stuck!” when they try to open the door for you refuse to get out.

Go to an assistance and when they ask “do you need help” start crying saying “why don’t you just leave me alone!!”

Walk REALLY slow! Especially in narrow isles.

Scan random objects.

Place all the crisps on the floor and jump on them.

Stand in front of the poultry and pretend to be a chicken. When someone picks up the meat shout “Mummy!”

Place the pillows on the floor. Then have sex.

Run out screaming “BOMB!” and see how many people you can get to join in your frantic escape.

Flirt with everyone.

Remove all the price tags.

Play Frisbee with the CD’s.

Ask if they have any erections in store & say you need one for your dad because your mum keeps complaining.

Place a wet floor sign on a carpet.

Lie own on the car park’s exit.

Walk around with a load of friends chanting “We Love You Tesco! We do! We love you tesco we do! Oh Tesco we love you!!”

Go to an assistance and say “Take me to you leader or be exterminated”