Mental Health Hotline

Views(936)

Created(8-14-07)

Category ( Lists )

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline..."

- If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

- If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

- If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

- If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

- If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

- If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

- If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

- If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

- If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

- If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

- If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

- If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

- If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

- If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you."

- If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won't be crazy forever.

- If you are a blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

Please Login to post comments

On August 16th 2007 melibeans10 Said :

	i like it..especially the last 4

On August 16th 2007 kimmaigirlai Said :

	so, like, the best joke EVER. gosh i love it lol

On August 16th 2007 Autumnr1 Said :

	hey thats super kool! Yay!

On August 16th 2007 Jared98950 Said :

	haha

On August 16th 2007 sara52595 Said :

	hahah thats funny. but kinda mean too. but mostly funny lol

On August 16th 2007 psche Said :

	-rates up-

On August 16th 2007 psche Said :

	funny, except i didn't like the schizophrenic part. if you dont have it you cant begin to imagine what its like.

On August 16th 2007 Darkrose3 Said :

	wow

On August 16th 2007 ieatpuppies Said :

	good, i like

On August 16th 2007 Jokilolo Said :

	Nice

On August 16th 2007 heathsgurl94 Said :

	haha,i'm blonde tho.

On August 14th 2007 Jaester67 Said :

	haha now thats funny

On August 14th 2007 61658468496874 Said :

	you are hilarious! your jokes are the best

On August 14th 2007 xraiderchic420 Said :

	good stuff!!!

On August 14th 2007 beezwax9999 Said :

	i like this 1

On August 14th 2007 carderelli Said :

	heard it before,but its still hilarious

On August 14th 2007 susieq1552 Said :

	lol

On August 14th 2007 sinderelly8201 Said :

	long but good, very good. Loved it!!!

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