85 YR OLD DUDE

AN 85 YR OLD DUDE WENT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ONE DAY. WHILE HE WAS THERE, THE DOCTOR ASKED FOR A SPERM COUNT. THE DOCTOR DUDE GAVE HIM A JAR AND TOLD HIM TO BRING IT BACK TOMORROW WITH A SEMEN SAMPLE.

THE NEXT DAY THE OLD DUDE CAME BACK WITH THE JAR, IT WAS EMPTY.

THE DOCTOR ASKED WHAT HAPPENED AND THE OLD DUE STARTED TO EXPLAIN,

"WELL, FIRST I TRIED WITH MY RIGHT HAND, BUT NOTHING. THEN I TRIED WITH MY LEFT HAND, BUT NOTHING. THEN I DECIDED TO ASK MY WIFE FOR HELP. SHE TRIED WITH HER LEFT AND RIGHT HAND, BUT STILL NOTHING. THEN SHE TRIED WITH HER MOUTH. FIRST WITH HER TEETH IN, THEN WITH HER TEETH OUT, STILL NOTHING!! THEN WE CALLED THE DUDE NEXT DOOR CAROL. FIRST WITH BOTH HANDS, THEN HER ARMPIT, THEN SHE TRIED SQUEEZIN IT BEWTEEN HER KNEES, BUT STILL NOTHING"

THE DOCTOR WAS A LITTLE STARTLED " YOU ASKED YOUR NEIGHBOUR???"

THE OLD DUDE REPLIED, " YEP. SURE DID DUDE. BUT NO MATTER WHAT WE TRIED, WE STILL COULDNT GET THE JAR OPEN"