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job application

Views(366) Created(5-5-08) Category ( Bar )

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

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On May 7th 2008 CostaChristina Said :
CostaChristina ha ha!!! lol
On May 7th 2008 reapersheart Said :
reapersheart lmao
On May 7th 2008 0GuitarGirl0 Said :
0GuitarGirl0 lol.. that's great! I'll end up doin that. haha.. oh, I'm an aries too. =)
On May 7th 2008 MCRsLover Said :
MCRsLover omg! lol, that's funny!
On May 7th 2008 N5607 Said :
N5607 L m a o, that guy pwns
On May 7th 2008 TheBranster Said :
TheBranster at least someone is finaly getting me; that is, for people to start, perhaps, making there own jokes? still, nice backflip, johnny. yeah, that was well
On May 7th 2008 deadpoet Said :
deadpoet yeah its funny but its not like you came up with it, this thing is years old...i thought the whole point of this site was for you to post up YOUR work and not others
On May 6th 2008 CarriBou Said :
CarriBou THAT IS A GOOD ONE...! =DD ROLFMAO =)
On May 6th 2008 dragonsoul0 Said :
dragonsoul0 XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD
On May 5th 2008 AnimaniacAsh Said :
AnimaniacAsh http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/humor/a/job_application.htm is another site you have to check out, sorry about posting so many comments (;
On May 5th 2008 AnimaniacAsh Said :
AnimaniacAsh Yo!, I just found this site, check it out! http://www.bulmash.com/ -Ash
On May 5th 2008 AnimaniacAsh Said :
AnimaniacAsh this is so funny, I'm telling my friends to check it out!
On May 5th 2008 AnimaniacAsh Said :
AnimaniacAsh "keyonnaShanell" is right, only Macc'rs would give someone a job for that! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL -Ash
On May 5th 2008 KeyonnaShanell Said :
my picture
Whoever submitted this application is i hope they wasnt for real if they was i need to teach them how to write a resume because not all jobs ARE GOING TO GIVE THEM THE JOB BECAUSE THEY ARE FUNNY