Degrees of being Blonde

            FIRST DEGREE

            A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the
morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and
said "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.

            The husband said, "Who was that?"
            The wife answered, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know If
the coast is clear."

            SECOND DEGREE

            Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact
on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."

            The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"

            So, the first blonde hands her the compact.

            The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's
me!"

            THIRD DEGREE

            A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her so she goes
out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she
opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is
really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so,
she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

            The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"

            The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

            FOURTH DEGREE

            A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She
proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me. I know 'em all."

            A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?"

            The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy ... it's W."

            FIFTH DEGREE

            Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was
pregnant?

            A: "Is it mine?"

            SIXTH DEGREE

            Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in
her U.S. Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe
vs. Wade was about.

            Bambi pondered the question then, finally, said, "That was the
decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware ..."

            SEVENTH DEGREE

            Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported
the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio and a K-9
unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.

            As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,
the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his
dog then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned,
"I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help,
and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"