Things Adults learn from kids

 There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.

# If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

# A 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

# 4 If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape.

# It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

# Baseballs make marks on ceilings.

# You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.

# When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.

# A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

# The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

# When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;" it's already too late.

# Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

# A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

# A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

# If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes.

# A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.

# Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.

# Duplos will not.

# Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

# Super glue is forever.

# McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.

# Ditto Tarzan.

# No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

# Pool filters do not like Jello.

# VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

# Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

# Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

# You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

# Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

# Plastic toys do not like ovens.

# The fire department in San Diego has at least a 5 minute response time.

# The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.

# It will however make cats dizzy.

# Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

# Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry.

# A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect).