The cucumber, pickle, and the dick.

So there’s a cucumber, a pickle and a dick, and they were talking about what happens when they become large, thick, and very hard.

Cucumber: You guys think you got it bad.. Well, when I get large, thick and very hard, they chop me up and throw me into a salad.

Pickle: Nope, I got it worse. Hell, they slice me up and throw me into a jar, when I get long, thick and very hard!

Dick: Crap, boys, I’ve obviously got it worse. When I go thick, long and very hard, they put my in a rubber suit, then they put me into a dark room, and make me beat my head against the wall until I puke and pass out!