MAN LAW!!!!!

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Created(9-25-07)

Category ( Other )

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into
"The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even
remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly
optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a
strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10:You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of
flatulent entertainment, she's officially your
girlfriend.

11:It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12:Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13:~~Unless you're in prison~~, never fight naked.

14:Friends don't let friends wear Speedos.
Ever. ~~Issue closed~~.

15:If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16:Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17:A man in the company of a hot, suggestively
dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18:Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just
greedy.

19:If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20:Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex
pending your response.

21:Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22:Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23:Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24:The morning after you and a girl who was
formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken
monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

25:It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is
not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26:Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27:The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28:There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men'sGymnastics. ~~Ever~~.

29:Pull out

We've all heard about people having guts or balls.

But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below.

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!"

We hope this clears up any confusion.

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On October 1st 2007 angelofwar4 Said :

	LOL!! Honestly, I didn't know men had any rules or laws to live by! I thought they just did whatever came into their head. I don't think I've laughed this hard in a while! ROFL!!

On September 27th 2007 wolfvalentine Said :

	nice lol

On September 27th 2007 saphiradlm Said :

	l give it a shot why the hell not right------- OMG this really works.... when i got to the part were it says STOP, my mom called me and asked me what i wanted to eat!!! lol this is crazy! ~~Skyla~~ lets try it... ~mac~ ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- it didnt work 4 me but that mite b cuz my cell is dead. -Courtney ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- OMG it really did work I just got a text message!!! -Shelby ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- OKAY NOW I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP....BUT AFTER I FINISHED MY CELL PHONE WENT OFF AND TOLD ME I HAD A NEW VOICEMAIL.... brit. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ don't know about the wish, but i got a text when i got to the bottom . . . coincidence? -- DeAnna Holy shit after i read this my boy mike called me....Sammii ------------------------------------------------------------------------ this gay shit actually worked....KRIS --------------------------------------------------------------------- Mine did it tooo!!!!! - Bryan WOW EEEE!!!2@@@ -------------------------------------------------------------------- My phone did to!! =l -------------------------------------------------------------------- My phone rang while I was reading this shit my phone rang too ---------------------------------------------------------------------- hOLY cRAP mY cell phone RANG!!!!! ahHHHHHH -------------------------------------------------------------------- I hate chain letters, but my phone rang and it freaked me out Collin ------------------------------------------------------------------------ fucking friend joey called me right after i read the last lines in this fucking bulletin....man...creepy.... ~jr ------------------------------------------------------------------ This works so try it yourself ------------------------------------------------------------------ My phone rang... thats creepy! ------------------------------------------------------------------ The second i finished it my phone rang ------------------------------------------------------------------ okay my phone didnt ring but some1 who i havent talked to in a while contacted me. it really does work, just believe(yes i kno, corny) --------------------------------------------------------------------- My phone didn't ring but I got a text message as soon as I was done reading...really odd!! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- holy crap myt cell fone rang it was my friend erik holy crap thats weird --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- wow. my cell phone rang. wierd. amanda ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- omggggoshh this is sooooo weird!!!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- this is pretty weird!!! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- holy shit this really works ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- dis junk is crazi i was readin dis n ma bro jus finish callin me no lies... ::misz precious:: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I think I just pissed my self that was some crazy ass shit yo it worked ---------------------------------------------------------------------- shti works man my sister called as i finashed reading it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- That was weird ass hell!!Steve B. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- This really works! I sware to god Morgan just called me as soon as i finished! NOT LYING! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- omg one of my friends called while i was reading this!!! how crazy is that! it works, no lie ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It didn't work. =[ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- shittt.....ii wass doing it and my phonee rang....it wass my daddy!!!!-higginss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- this is scary lets see if it works.... I am taking the bait - what do I have to lose right? Hope it works! Supposedly The Phone Will Ring Right After You Do This. Just read the little stories and think of a wish as you scroll all the way to the bottom. There is a message there - then make your wish. No attachment on this one. Stories I'm 13 years old, and I wished that my dad would come home from the army, because he'd been having problems with his heart and right leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When I made my wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes later), the doorbell rang, and there my Dad was, luggage and all!! I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been having trouble in my job and on the verge of quitting. I made a simple wish that my boss would get a new job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55 there was an announcement that he was promoted and was leaving for another city. Believe me...this really works!!! My name is Ann and I am 45 years of age. I had always been single and had been hoping to get into a nice, loving relationship for many years. While kind of daydreaming (and right after receiving this email) I wished that a quality person would finally come into my life. That was at 9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM a FedEx delivery man came into my office.He was cute, polite and could not stop smiling at me. He started coming back almost everyday (even without packages) and asked me out a week later. We married 6 months later and now have been happily married for 2 years. What a great email it was!! Just scroll down to the end, but while you do, think of a wish. Make your wish when you have completed scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the number of minutes it will take for your wish to come true. ex.you are 25 years old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish to come true). However, if you don't send this to people in 5 minutes, you will have bad luck for years!! Go for it!!! SCROLL DOWN!!!! * * ** * ** *** **** ***** ****** ******* ******** ********* ********** *********** ************ ************* ************** *************** **************** ***************** ****************** ******************* ******************** ********************* ********************** *********************** ************************ ************************* ************************** *************************** **************************** ***************************** ****************************** ************************** * ****************************** ***************************** **************************** *************************** ************************** ************************* ************************ *********************** ********************** ******************** ******************** ******************* ****************** ***************** **************** *************** ************** ************* ************ ******* ********** ********* ******** ******* ****** ***** **** *** ** * * ** * STOP!!! Congratulations!!! Your wish will now come true in your age minutes. Now follow this carefully....it can be very rewarding!!!! If you repost this within the next 5 min. something major that you've been wanting will happen. This is scary! The phone will ring right after you repost as "Cell Phone Trick"

On September 27th 2007 beeverpine Said :

	it is my life code

On September 25th 2007 shallwedance34 Said :

	haha! that's great!

On September 25th 2007 XtranquillityX Said :

	You just doomed every guy out there by posting this :p

On September 25th 2007 ReannH Said :

	Loved this one!!!!

On September 25th 2007 debraking Said :

	lol cute

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