Cop

A cop was standing on an overpass and clocked a car speeding by. He proceeded to chase the car down and pull it over.

"Whats the rush?" the cop said walking up to the window.

"I'm late for my job. It's very important that I get there on time. I'm a very important man," the driver responded.

"Well what do you do that is so important that you would risk lives to get to work?" the cop asked.

"Anus stretcher." replied the man, with a serious look.

"What does an Anus Stretcher do?" the cop said puzzled.

"Well, I stick my finger in the patients but, then two fingers. Soon, once I have on whole hand in there, I stick in my other. Then I stretch my hands apart to about five and a half foot," said the driver, still serious.

"Well," the cop replied. "What do you do with a five and a half foot asshole?" he asked.

"I give them a radar gun and put them on a bridge."