The Golden Telephone

A highly recruited high-school football player is visiting schools. His first stop is Miami. When he gets there, Larry Coker immediately picks up a golden telephone. After talking for several minutes, he says, "Thank you, God" and hangs up. The young man is shocked. He asks the coach what is so special about the golden phone. "Well, this phone is a direct link to God," the coach explains. "God tells us whether new recruits will be stars at our University." The athlete asks if he can use the phone to ask God what college he should pick. "Sure you can," the coach says. "But it will cost you $1,000. Calling Heaven ain't cheap." The young man says he doesn't have that kind of money and moves along.

His next stop is Michigan. He walks into Lloyd Carr's office and Carr immediately picks up a golden telephone. After talking for several minutes, the coach says, "Thank you, God" and hangs up. The recruit says, "Hey, I've seen those phones before. Can I use yours to ask God what college I should pick?" Carr says, "Sure, but it's going to cost you $750. Calling heaven ain't cheap." Again, the young man explains that he doesn't have the money and leaves.

 His last stop is Columbus, Ohio. Jim Tressel picks up a golden telephone, says, "Thanks" and hangs up. The young man asks: "Coach, I really need to use that golden telephone so I can call God and ask him which college I should choose. Miami said it was going to cost me $1,000. Michigan wanted $750. How much will it cost me to call Heaven from Columbus?" Tressel smiles and said, "Nothing, son. It's a local call."