Man Banned From Wal-Mart

Man Banned from WalMart

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men -- he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women -- she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms
and randomly put them in people's carts
when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in
Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on
the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and
told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in
Housewares - get on it right away."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk
and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET
FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the
camping department and told other shoppers
he'd invite them in if they would bring
pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they
could help him he began crying and
screamed, "Why can't you people just leave
me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security
camera and used it as a mirror while he
picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in
the hunting department, he asked the
clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store
suspiciously while loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he
practiced his "Madonna look" by using different
sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came
over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position
and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least,

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey!
There's no toilet paper in here!"

Regards,
Wal-Mart

I know my husband is more than capable of a few of these things.