THE PENIS REQUESTS A RAISE

THE PENIS REQUESTS A RAISE
Dear Management,

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons:

1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends off or public holidays.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I don't get paid overtime.
7. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
8. In my workplace, the temperatures can get very high.
9. My work exposes me to contagious diseases.  
 
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you
have raised, the administration rejects your request for the
following reasons:

1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4. You do not stay in your assigned position, and often visit
other areas.
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such
as wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. You'll retire well before reaching 65.
9. You're unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your assigned position before you have
completed the days work.
11. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly
entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking
bags.

Sincerely,

The Management

Have a nice day.