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A jerks guide to parking!

Views(1456) Created(4-13-07) Category ( Other )

1. When waiting for a parking spot, stop in the middle of the road, don't signal, and orient your car diagonally to prevent others from passing.

2. Always park on the lines, taking up as many spots as possible. Diagonal parking is preferred.

3. In a crowded parking lot, if you find a spot and have the opportunity to pull through to an adjacent one, drive up half way and stop on the line, taking both.

4. As you pull into a spot, if you see that the space ahead of you is empty and you see another driver signaling to take it, pull through and take it from him.

5. Always park close enough to the adjacent car so that the other driver must grease up with Vaseline to squeeze into his/her car.

6. When getting out of your car, hit the adjacent vehicle with your door really hard.

7. When driving through the parking lot, ignore the painted lanes and drive diagonally from one end to another at a high rate of speed.

8. When stopped in front of a store and waiting for a friend/relative to make a purchase, make sure that you are stopped in the middle of the road. The same rules applies to picking-up and discharging passengers.

9. When a vehicle from the opposite direction is signaling and waiting for a parking space, position your car so that you are in his way and let the car behind you take it.

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On January 13th 2008 chorusgal Said :
chorusgal ok
On April 15th 2007 pinkfroggy24 Said :
pinkfroggy24 that's funny-----i guess./:l
On April 15th 2007 TiffTamnoel Said :
TiffTamnoel Ha ha ha....LOL OMG! I do that daily! (jk)
On April 15th 2007 oootangentooo Said :
my picture
Love It!
On April 15th 2007 ZekeH Said :
my picture
wait, seeing as I didn't spell "not" right, I now reckon it is funny, so no-one has anything on me!
On April 15th 2007 ZekeH Said :
my picture
sorry, ot very funny.
On April 14th 2007 sxe33 Said :
sxe33 lol i usually take up two or three of the front row car parks at the local mall cos we know all the security there anyways n the most spots i took at once was 6
On April 14th 2007 tryin2bstrong Said :
tryin2bstrong I shoudl try it and see how many ppl I can tick off
On April 13th 2007 cgenehurt Said :
cgenehurt If you have ever seen that scene in Fried Green Tomatoes, you might expect the same results in this scenario too.
On April 13th 2007 ashleyswebb Said :
ashleyswebb ... you can get arrested for this stuff or killed haha! I am too scared to try it
On April 13th 2007 FamousOne777 Said :
FamousOne777 Kinda like the walmart list
On April 13th 2007 thecolorblack Said :
thecolorblack ^.^ I'm a good parker! I swear!!! =))
On April 13th 2007 imbored9909 Said :
imbored9909 lol, ive only done a couple of these things but not on a regular basis
On April 13th 2007 DrOfAllThings Said :
DrOfAllThings Thats messed up but I actually have a friend just like all this. And he has the nerve to blame everything on other drivers.