Vodka Advice...00000

Views(672)

Created(9-20-07)

Category ( Dirty )

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door:

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.

8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10. We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!

11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it, for it is my body", he did not say, "Eat me."

12. The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, "Mary with the Cherry".

13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God". and finally...

14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St.Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

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On September 27th 2007 littlelover Said :

	roflmao hahahhaha omg xD

On September 22nd 2007 rumcake2daend Said :

	rotfl. lmao. lol.

On September 22nd 2007 DivineA Said :

	omg XD

On September 22nd 2007 monkey892 Said :

	I love it!!!

On September 21st 2007 mommi2be08 Said :

	i wouldve loooved to be in the congregation for that shit omg funny

On September 20th 2007 AshliSummitt Said :

	haha .. this is funny .... !! SOUNDS LIKE THIS ALOT OF FUN

On September 20th 2007 masonnosam12 Said :

	lol

On September 20th 2007 carderelli Said :

	that sounds like my kind of church, lol

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