Gum, Bucket, and Cocker Spaniel

Tommy had a bad case of the dislexia.  One day his dad told him to go to the store and get a cocker spaniel, gum, and a bucket.

so first tommy went to the hardware store and he went up to the cashier and asked, "how much for the bum and fucket?" the cashier said, "the gum is 1.25 and the bucket is 5.36." so tommy paid the man and then went to the pet store.

once he got to the pet store he went and asked the cashier, "Can i have a cockan spankit?" the man said yes and tommy paid.  on his way home he tripped and fell.  He stood straight up and saw a lady walking by and asked her, "Will you hold my bum and fucket while i get my cockan spankit?" the lady screamed and ran away.