rock paper scissors

i understand how scissors can beat paper, and i get how rock beats scissors, but there is no fucking way that paper can beat rock. is paper suposseed to magically wrap around rock and leave it mobile? why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? why arn't sheets of colage ruled notebook paper constanly sufficating students as they take notes in class? i'll tell you why, becuase paper can't beat anybody. a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. when i play rock paper scissors, i always choose rock. then thier paper i can punch them in the face with an already clench fist and say, "oh shit im sorry, i thought paper would protect you, you asshole!"

sorry if this was already on here or some other web site i thought it should be spreaded around