The Stick-It Inn

 A salesman checked into a futuristic hotel.

 Realizing he needed a Haircut before the next day's

 meeting, he called the desk clerk to ask if there was

 a barber on the premises.

I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "

but down the hall from your room is a vending

 machine that should serve your purposes."

Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located

 the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head

 into the opening, at which time the machine started 

to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman 

pulled out his head and surveyed is reflection, which

 showed the best haircut of his life.

Two feet away was another machine with a sign 

that read,
'Manicures, $20.00.'
Why not?" thought the salesman. He paid the money,

 inserted his hands into the slot, and the
machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds

 later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.

The next machine had a sign that read, 

'This Machine Provides a Service Men

Need When Away from Their Wives,

50 Cents.'

The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off. With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit. Which now had a button sewn on the end.