Politicians in Hell

While walking down the street one day,
2 heads of state, one democrat and one republican,
are tragically hit by a truck and die.
Their souls arrive in heaven and are met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter.
"Before you two settle in, it seems there is a problem.
We seldom see high officials around these parts,
you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let us in." they say.
"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up.
What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven.
Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, We've made up our minds.
We want to be in Heaven," say the politicians.
"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that,
St. Peter escorts the politicians to the elevator
and they go down, down, down to Hell.

The doors open and they find themselves in the middle
of a green golf course. In the distance is a club
and standing in front of it are all of their friends and
other politicians who had worked with them,
everyone is very happy and in evening dress.
They run to greet them, hug them, and reminisce
about the good times they had while
getting rich at expense of taxpayers.

They play a friendly game of golf and then
dine on lobster and caviar.
Also present is the Devil (a politician, too),
who really is a very friendly guy
who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are having such a good time that,
before they realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives them big hugs and wave while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens
on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for them.

"Now it's time to visit Heaven."
So 24 hours pass with the heads of state joining a group
of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud,
playing the harp and singing.
They have a good time and, before they realize it,
the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven.
Now choose your eternity."
They both reflect for a minute, then the heads of state answers:
"Well, we would never have thought it,
we feel Heaven has been delightful,
but we think we would be better off in Hell."

So Saint Peter escorts them to the elevator
and they go down, down, down to Hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open
and they are in the middle of a barren land
covered with waste and garbage.
They see all their friends, dressed in rags,
picking up the trash and putting it in black bags.

The Devil comes over to the politicians
and lays an arm on each ones neck.
"We don't understand," stammer both politicians.
Yesterday we were here and there was a golf course
and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced
and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland
full of garbage and our friends look miserable.

The Devil looks at each of them, smiles and says,

"Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!"