Adult Fairy Tales
CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."
Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 am. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother.
He took care of everything." The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power!
Tell me his name!"
Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly,
Peter, Peter, the something eater."
___________________________________________
PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help.
Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
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MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king
Goofy."
___________________________________________
Did you know..Captain Hook died from jock itch.
____________________________________________
One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to have sex. "What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said,
"Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show
you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp,"What the hell did you do that for?"
"Just checking for bees," said Tarzan
Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 am. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother.
He took care of everything." The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power!
Tell me his name!"
Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly,
Peter, Peter, the something eater."
___________________________________________
PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help.
Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
_____________________________________________
MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king
Goofy."
___________________________________________
Did you know..Captain Hook died from jock itch.
____________________________________________
One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to have sex. "What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said,
"Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show
you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp,"What the hell did you do that for?"
"Just checking for bees," said Tarzan
Please Login to post comments| On August 28th 2007 briansgurl4806 Said: |
| lmao thats funny |
| On August 24th 2007 PACEVARSITYCHI Said: |
| HAHA |
| On August 24th 2007 PACEVARSITYCHI Said: |
|
| HAHA |
| On August 24th 2007 Zackarai Said: |
| I like the Micky Mouse one. :D |
| On August 24th 2007 jay11yyy1y Said: |
| dam i liked the tarzan |
| On August 24th 2007 ieatpuppies Said: |
| fucking aye...i love it |
| On August 24th 2007 xCiNNAKiTTix Said: |
| ...fricken funny...ROTFLMCAO!!!!... |
| On August 24th 2007 monkey892 Said: |
| I love the Mickey one lol |
| On August 24th 2007 monkey892 Said: |
|
| I love the Mickey one lol |
| On August 24th 2007 reapersheart Said: |
| hahaha i like the mickey one lmao |
| On August 24th 2007 epidemicevil Said: |
| ROFLMAO!!! |
| On August 24th 2007 tuhmaruh2019 Said: |
| hey dumbass lmao means laugh my ass off...they liked it retard |
| On August 24th 2007 portlandgirl Said: |
| Lol... i liked it. All the people who said it was lmao can just keep their mouth shut if they dont like it! |
| On August 24th 2007 portlandgirl Said: |
|
| Lol... i liked it. All the people who said it was lmao can just keep their mouth shut if they dont like it! |
| On August 24th 2007 ruler0penguins Said: |
| LMAO!!!!!!!!!!! |
| On August 24th 2007 sadidaisbroken Said: |
| LMFAO!!!!!!!! |
| On August 23rd 2007 Janiekate145 Said: |
|
| HEHE niiice |
| On August 22nd 2007 TheFrogPrinces Said: |
| I've seen two of them, but Pinocchio, Tarzan and Cap'n Hook are new |
| On August 22nd 2007 trainfreak15 Said: |
| freakin hilarious lmao |
| On August 22nd 2007 crazynikki8503 Said: |
| please rate this ~~**~~thanx |
| On August 22nd 2007 crazynikki8503 Said: |
|
| I don't know if anyone eles has this one so if you do please let me know, a friend of mine e-mailed me this and told me i should put it on here!
either way its so funny!!! |
