LITTLE TONY

>> Little TONY returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

>> "Why?" asks the father?

>> "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,' I said '6,'" replies TONY.

>> "But that's right!" says his dad.

>> "Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"

>> "What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.

>> "That's what I said!"

>> A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and

>> you

>> shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little TONY.

>> He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

>> The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

>> Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU.. There are 3 women

>> sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides

>> of

>> the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and

>> sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which

>> one is married?"

>> The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one

>> that's

>> gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

>> To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is the one with the

>> wedding ring on, but I like your thinking."

>> Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to

>> learn multi-syllables. Give me an example of a multi-syllable word."

>> TONY says "Mas-tur-bate."

>> Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."

>> Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

>> Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to

>> go

>> to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"

>> The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in

>> this

>> situation. The correct word you want to use is urinate. Please use the

>> word

>> ur-i-nate in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."

>> Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if

>> you

>> had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!

>> One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show

>> of

>> hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence

>> twice.

>> First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, " My father bought

>> my

>> mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

>> "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little

>> Michael.

>> "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

>> She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on

>> little TONY. "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father

>> that