Chinese Torture

One day a man was lost in the woods and soon found he was lost and tired. He kept walking until he found a small cottage set in the trees. He knocked and the door, where a little chinese man answered.

"Excuse me, sir but may I please rest here for the night so I can set out tomorrow?", the man asked him. The chinese man smiled and said, "Of course you can stay. But touch my daughter and I will give you the worse Chinese Torture known to man." The man promised to stay far from the daughter, and the chinese man let him in.

During dinner, the man met the daughter. She was absolutely gorgeous and perfect to any man who looked at her. But he kept his distance and went straight to his room that night. The daughter, however, knocked on his door and stripped down for him. The man could no longer resist.

In the morning, the daughter was gone but the man woke up to find that a small boulder was on his chest. On the rock was written "Chinese Torture #1: Heavy rock on chest". The man laughed and thought, "If this is the torture, then I have nothing to worry about." So the man decided to get up and toss the rock out the window.

He opened the window and threw the rock down three stories. As he watched the rock drop, he noticed there was something written on the windowsill. "Chinese Torture #2: Rock tied to left testicle." The man was now scared of losing his testicle, so he figured if he jumped out the window, he may break his leg rather than lose a nut. So he jumped out the window.

But as the man neared the ground, he noticed writing, appearing closer and closer as he fell... He finally got close enough as he was falling to read:

"Chinese Torture #3: Right testicle attached to bedpost."