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Dear Redneck Daughter...

Views(3196) Created(12-11-06) Category ( Redneck )

Dearest Redneck Daughter,

 

I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.

 

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not to sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

 

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

 

Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried and hot because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

 

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.

 

Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned.  We had him cremated, he burned for three days.

 

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

 

There isn't much more news at this time.  Nothing much out of the normal has happened.

 

Your Favorite Aunt, Mom



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On May 13th 2008 sambam864 Said :
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that is funny and about the part where he sisters baby looks like her brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMFG
On April 20th 2008 moosegurl01 Said :
moosegurl01 omg they are just plain retarded
On December 15th 2007 AlyssaFuller94 Said :
AlyssaFuller94 OMG sadly I know a bunch of major rednecks and it sounds like them but this is fucking hilarious
On December 13th 2007 bluecatdaytona Said :
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OMG WOW!!!
On November 9th 2007 lollie9215 Said :
lollie9215 haha!
On November 4th 2007 Callail Said :
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The one about the uncle got me.
On October 16th 2007 seb22 Said :
seb22 BEST THING EVER LMAO
On September 23rd 2007 halfpint21106 Said :
halfpint21106 lol
On August 30th 2007 blessjahne Said :
blessjahne LmAOoo
On August 8th 2007 xEyExLuVxPnHx Said :
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Love it...read most of it before...but still love it.
On July 20th 2007 blondekali Said :
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HAHA
On July 19th 2007 Belle1718 Said :
Belle1718 omg love it love it love it
On July 12th 2007 KiweeBee Said :
KiweeBee Its a colaboration of a bunch of cliches and my favorite joke about the tailgate...haha, anyways...LOVED IT!
On July 4th 2007 lilheartache Said :
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L0L!!! Thats funny!!! l0l!!!
On June 24th 2007 darkmatters Said :
darkmatters hhahah fucking class!
On June 11th 2007 Sissa06 Said :
Sissa06 Damn people don't you know how to take a fucking joke!!! This is funny as hell!!!
On June 2nd 2007 SmellyCoco Said :
SmellyCoco That's like 50 redneck jokes in one. Ver nice.
On May 21st 2007 LoserLara Said :
LoserLara I can't believe this has such a high rating, it really isn't that funny.
On May 18th 2007 messiejessie25 Said :
messiejessie25 I've heard it before and I lmao every time!!
On May 10th 2007 privonne Said :
privonne Lol that was by far the best thing I've read in the two pages I've gone through
On May 5th 2007 gatorzrule89 Said :
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that is sick
On April 14th 2007 KayBee93 Said :
KayBee93 HHAHAHAH! I'M SO FORWARDING THIS!!!
On February 27th 2007 fayeevans33 Said :
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roflmao!!!!!
On February 23rd 2007 redneckchic88 Said :
redneckchic88 You did not write this joke.I went to jokes.com and looked at redneck jokes and seen it.I am a redneck but jokes like this dont bother me.
On February 19th 2007 brat2catz Said :
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its just a joke if we rednecks cant insalt our selfs and take a joke then we would be lost in the world