Story Of A Blonde

There was once a blonde who lived her life thinking that a quarterback was a refund, General Motors was in the army, Meow Mix was a CD for cats, and Boyz II Men was a day care center.

On Monday, she decided to try and get a better job. Under "education" on the application, she put "hooked on phonics," and at the bottom where it says "sign here," she wrote in "saggitarius." She faxed the application to the company, complete with a stamp in the upper left-hand corner. The blonde once heard that you should get eight hours of sleep every night. Curious to see how far off she was, she took a ruler to bed that night to see how long she slept.

On Tuesday, she tripped over a cordless phone on her way downstairs to get breakfast. After opening the refrigerator, she ended up staring at a carton of orange juice for twenty minutes because it said "concentrate" on the side. The rest of her day's activities included calling her friend to make plans to meet at the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK, and putting M&M's in alphabetical order.

On Wednesday, she thought it would be a great idea to sell her car so she would have more money for gas. Since she didn't have a car, she had to take a bus to work, but missed bus #44. She then decided it would be okay to take bus #22 instead. After ending up lost in the city and finding her way back to work three hours late, she discovered she hadn't gotten that job she'd applied for on Monday and was told to leave. On her way to her usual job as a cashier at a gift shop at the airport, she saw a sign from the bus window that said "Airport Left," so she got off at the next stop and took the bus back home. While she was on her way home, she received a phone call from her doctor saying she had a blood test scheduled for next week, which she spent the rest of the day studying for.

On Thursday, she assumed she had to listen to an FM radio station because an AM station wouldn't work in the evening, and heard that 90% of all crimes occured around the home, so she put her house up for sale. Still upset about the news she recieved the previous day, she called her friend to tell her she hadn't gotten the job, even though she met all the requirements and filled out her application perfectly. She said she thought they were discriminating against blondes. Her friend told her to go back to that company and speak her mind. The blonde declined, because she thought that if she spoke her mind, she would be speechless. When her friend offered to take her to Taco Bell to cheer her up, the blonde asked, "Why on earth would a Mexican phone company make me feel better?"

On Friday, she went to the company that declined her application and asked them why she hadn't gotten the job. Everyone in the office was dressed for Casual Friday, and the man she was speaking to wore a shirt that said "TGIF." He told her that, to be honest, she wasn't hired because she didn't seem very smart. Upon noticing the man's shirt, the blonde yelled "You think I'm stupid? At least I know how to get dressed in the morning! You have to wear clothes that say This Goes In Front!"

The End!