Why WalMart's the Shit.

This man had a problem with his elbow one day, and while in WalMart with his family, he told his wife he was thinking about going to a doctor.  Well, the money was kind of short, therefore she advised another alternative- the newest thing in the pharmacy, a machine that with a urine sample can tell a person what's wrong with said person. 

The man takes a trip to the bathroom in layaway after recieving a cup from the pharmacy to deposit his specimin in.  After returning it, he followed the instructions on how to place it in the slide, and get it analyzed.  He was shocked to see the following:

"You have Tennis-Elbow.  Rest your right arm from strenuous activity, and get the following cream from the pharmacy to relieve pain.  Thank you for shopping at WalMart, have a nice day:) "

The man was amazed at the results- they seemed accurate, so he decided to test it.  The next day, he gathered one of each:  A urine sample from his wife, a stool sample from the dog, a urine sample from his teenage daughter, and to top it off, he even added his own spunk to the stew- he fired off a couple of knuckle children in the mix.

The next day, he was prepared for WalMart, sampling of his family's secretions (even the dog's) in towe.  When he got to the pharmacy, he got the cup, and went to the bathroom to deposit the mixture from his pocket.  Went back, and put it in the machine, just like he did with his own urine sample.  A ticket printed out from the machine, and on it was the following diagnosis of the man's concoction:

"Your wife has a yeast infection.  Aisle six of the health and beauty section should have a variety of yeast infection treatments. 

"Your dog needs house breaking pads, so he'll learn where to use the bathroom, the pet department should have them, along with training collars if the need persists.

"Your daughter is 7 weeks pregnant- see a healthcare professional as soon as possible, and a blood test will be necessary.

"Your tennis elbow will never get better if you don't stop masturbating.  Thank you for shopping at WalMart, have a nice day:)"