Correct Bar Etiquette
Right, being a barman im going to list the things that grind my gears and will also help you get served quicker.
1) First off, DONT push to the front. A good barman keeps a mental plan of who is next and will not serve you if you push people out of the way. Wait your turn and you'll get served in good time.
2) DONT whistle/click/shout at the barman as he will ignore you and serve you last. People do it to me and i tell em they aint being served due to rudeness.
3) DONT act like a dick. Nuff said.
4) DONT ask me to give you free drinks. I dont know you, chances are you're a nob and it isnt worth my job if i get caught.
---> Furthermore, dont ask me to serve you after last orders have been called...ill get a massive fine
5) No i cant put 4 shots in one glass. i can serve you 2 doubles and then you can do what you like but legally barman cant do it. Dont ask.
6) If you spill ur drink at the bar, tough shit. I didnt spill it, you did dipshit. Pay for your own replacement
7) No i wont give you a discount.
8) I reserve the right to refuse service if your too drunk =]
9) DONT get pissed off cos the drink you ordered turns out to cost more than you thought. If ur really bothered about that extra 20p then dont bother ordering. Oh and if u dont have enough when i charge you for the order then sorry, the drink goes down the sink.
----> I dont care how much cheaper some other club is, dont complain to me about it. If its that much of a problem, go to that club instead. I dont make the prices, dont bitch to me about it. Remember, cause me to much trouble and ill get ya chucked out.
10) No that dance isnt cool
11) for girls, if i smile at you, it isnt cos im being a perv, its probably cos im laughing at how ridiculous you look dressed like that or amused at how slutty you look. Or im just being nice.
----> If your a guy, no im not gay, see above.
12) Dont be afraid to have a laugh with us barmen. We're all colourful characters and a nice laugh with a customer is refreshing. that DOESNT mean i wanna hear your life story or what you've done today and dont get annoyed if its busy and i cant stay and chat.
13) if you want my attention, then hold your money in your hand, make eye contact or nod. dont scream at me from across the bar.
14) i dont care if your my good mate, i wont give you free drinks.
15) Great so you know my name/the bosses name or what-ever. it doesnt entitle you to free drinks or special service.
16) yes, if your that drunk the barstaff will laugh at you and, chances are, have you thrown out.
17) dont piss of the person making your drinks and charging you. See, i could forget you wanted a double and give you a single but charge you regardless. Or your change could get lost on the journey from the till.
18) if i serve the person next to you dont complain that "You've been there ages". i know how long you've been there and the other guy has been there longer. and he probably hasnt been rude.
19) No mate, you didnt give me a £20 note, you gave me a 10. Dont argue, im sober and you're drunk. i know what im on about and you dont.
20) dont be annoyed if im coy about accepting a £50 note. We never see em and are a little suspicious when we're given one. Think of it like this: You order a £3 drink and pay with a 50. if that note turns out to be fake then we have just lost £47 in change.
----> If i test your notes to make sure they arent fake then dont get annoyed about it. Its my job to check them. im not insinuating your a criminal, im just covering my ass.
21) No Id = no entry. nuff said. doesnt matter if you know the barstaff or "come in here all the time" or "get into other clubs". If we get spot checked and it shows you dont have Id, then we can get in big trouble.
22) if you're wearing trainers, or a hat, or a hoodie then no, you cant come in. You dont go to work in an executive office in scruffy clothes, same here. we're not being racist or mean, its just how it is.
23) Tip the barstaff. it makes our night, we dont get paid enough to deal with drunk dickheads and besides, do you really need that last 20p change? Furthermore, tip us and we'll remember your face resulting in faster service next time.
24) No, the doorstaff wont get the manager up on the front door to sort out a dispute. a good doorman will NEVER get the boss up on the door, a good doorman is there to deal with the trouble without the boss needing to be called.
25) feel free to give us feedback on the club itself, but dont bitch and moan. all we can do is pass on the info to the boss, we cant change shit.
26) someone took your drink? or the barstaff cleaned it away? no i wont replace it, its ur own fault for not keeping an eye on it. Ya snooze ya lose bub.
27) our jobs are hard enough already. DONT leave your empty glasses on the table. If ur coming to the bar, bring them with you?
28) dont argue with other patrons that "You were here first". Chances are, if you let them go first, then they'll buy you a drink to say thanks.
29) Have you're money ready when i get to you. It doesnt have to be the exact amount, i wont expect you to know the price but dont keep me waiting while you fumble with your wallet. i have a lot of people to serve, so hurry up
30) if you're waiting for service, then stay focused at the bar. dont turn around and chat to someone and then get pissed cos ive served someone else; to my eyes, you've been served or dont want a drink.
31) no the barmaids dont want your number, theres nothing attractive about a slurring drunk asshole no matter how good you think the chat up line is.
32) if you ask for some obscure drink, dont get frustrated if we ask what the hell it is. Not all of us know the Discoronno is actually Ameretto or that a 2 V's and a C means a double vodka and coke. Dont be a dick, tell us what you want in NORMAL terminology
----> No we dont think you're homemade terms are cool.
33) please dont get annoyed that we dont have the larger you want. We have a selection of other beers, they all taste like shit so why do you care.
34) dont get annoyed cos we dont understand your fucked up accent. Especially if you're slurring.
35) The DJ has a shit song on? obviously your an authoritive on music and EVERYONE agrees with you and likes the same stuff as you but regardless, dont tell me, tell the DJ ffs
36) a club is a loud place, dont mumble or get pissed if we ask you to repeat your order.
37) no we dont sell food...what kind of question is that?
38) dude, glasses in doors? seriously, you look like a dick
39) Give respect to get respect asshole.
40) oh you'll kick my ass? i think my doorman friends will have something to say about that. regardless, ur drunk mate, i have an instant advantage cos you can barely even see me properly.
41) fighting will get you kicked out. We dont care if he started it, you'll both be thrown out. Furthermore, if u try to come in with blood one you then you will be refused entry. we dont want troublemakers in our place, so fuck off.
42) if you're in a group and one of you has a fake id then you will ALL be refused entry. Sorry but thats how it goes in most cases.
43) we dont care if its your birthday and refusing you entry or ruining your night by refusing entry to a mate. Go somewhere else if its that much of a problem, theres over 40clubs in town to choose from.
44) a barman/doorman/other member of staff has been rude to you? thanks, ill log that away under "i dont give a rats ass". At the end of the day mate, you probably deserved it.
45) No, you cant make me feel guilty and no im not your mate.
46) oh your famous? well to us your just another person, u wont get special treatment. and any statements along the lines of "Do you know who i am" will be met with laughter and "i dont give a shit tbh"
47) no, there is no excuse or reason to be rude and i wont respond kindly to any forms of abuse.
48) you what--sorry i cant hear what did you--i dont understand whaa----too late mate, you've had your chance, NEXT!
49) Domestics are funny to us. If you want to have a blazing argument with your partner, go ahead. and the more slaps and drinks thrown the better; we need something to liven up our night ^_^
50) TIP! i cant stress this enough, you should always buy your a barman a drink. A barman is happy to do more or less ANYTHING you ask, just be nice about it. If we go and find an umbrella especially for you, or get you some sort of plaster or special request, then a drink is generally the way things should go.
1) First off, DONT push to the front. A good barman keeps a mental plan of who is next and will not serve you if you push people out of the way. Wait your turn and you'll get served in good time.
2) DONT whistle/click/shout at the barman as he will ignore you and serve you last. People do it to me and i tell em they aint being served due to rudeness.
3) DONT act like a dick. Nuff said.
4) DONT ask me to give you free drinks. I dont know you, chances are you're a nob and it isnt worth my job if i get caught.
---> Furthermore, dont ask me to serve you after last orders have been called...ill get a massive fine
5) No i cant put 4 shots in one glass. i can serve you 2 doubles and then you can do what you like but legally barman cant do it. Dont ask.
6) If you spill ur drink at the bar, tough shit. I didnt spill it, you did dipshit. Pay for your own replacement
7) No i wont give you a discount.
8) I reserve the right to refuse service if your too drunk =]
9) DONT get pissed off cos the drink you ordered turns out to cost more than you thought. If ur really bothered about that extra 20p then dont bother ordering. Oh and if u dont have enough when i charge you for the order then sorry, the drink goes down the sink.
----> I dont care how much cheaper some other club is, dont complain to me about it. If its that much of a problem, go to that club instead. I dont make the prices, dont bitch to me about it. Remember, cause me to much trouble and ill get ya chucked out.
10) No that dance isnt cool
11) for girls, if i smile at you, it isnt cos im being a perv, its probably cos im laughing at how ridiculous you look dressed like that or amused at how slutty you look. Or im just being nice.
----> If your a guy, no im not gay, see above.
12) Dont be afraid to have a laugh with us barmen. We're all colourful characters and a nice laugh with a customer is refreshing. that DOESNT mean i wanna hear your life story or what you've done today and dont get annoyed if its busy and i cant stay and chat.
13) if you want my attention, then hold your money in your hand, make eye contact or nod. dont scream at me from across the bar.
14) i dont care if your my good mate, i wont give you free drinks.
15) Great so you know my name/the bosses name or what-ever. it doesnt entitle you to free drinks or special service.
16) yes, if your that drunk the barstaff will laugh at you and, chances are, have you thrown out.
17) dont piss of the person making your drinks and charging you. See, i could forget you wanted a double and give you a single but charge you regardless. Or your change could get lost on the journey from the till.
18) if i serve the person next to you dont complain that "You've been there ages". i know how long you've been there and the other guy has been there longer. and he probably hasnt been rude.
19) No mate, you didnt give me a £20 note, you gave me a 10. Dont argue, im sober and you're drunk. i know what im on about and you dont.
20) dont be annoyed if im coy about accepting a £50 note. We never see em and are a little suspicious when we're given one. Think of it like this: You order a £3 drink and pay with a 50. if that note turns out to be fake then we have just lost £47 in change.
----> If i test your notes to make sure they arent fake then dont get annoyed about it. Its my job to check them. im not insinuating your a criminal, im just covering my ass.
21) No Id = no entry. nuff said. doesnt matter if you know the barstaff or "come in here all the time" or "get into other clubs". If we get spot checked and it shows you dont have Id, then we can get in big trouble.
22) if you're wearing trainers, or a hat, or a hoodie then no, you cant come in. You dont go to work in an executive office in scruffy clothes, same here. we're not being racist or mean, its just how it is.
23) Tip the barstaff. it makes our night, we dont get paid enough to deal with drunk dickheads and besides, do you really need that last 20p change? Furthermore, tip us and we'll remember your face resulting in faster service next time.
24) No, the doorstaff wont get the manager up on the front door to sort out a dispute. a good doorman will NEVER get the boss up on the door, a good doorman is there to deal with the trouble without the boss needing to be called.
25) feel free to give us feedback on the club itself, but dont bitch and moan. all we can do is pass on the info to the boss, we cant change shit.
26) someone took your drink? or the barstaff cleaned it away? no i wont replace it, its ur own fault for not keeping an eye on it. Ya snooze ya lose bub.
27) our jobs are hard enough already. DONT leave your empty glasses on the table. If ur coming to the bar, bring them with you?
28) dont argue with other patrons that "You were here first". Chances are, if you let them go first, then they'll buy you a drink to say thanks.
29) Have you're money ready when i get to you. It doesnt have to be the exact amount, i wont expect you to know the price but dont keep me waiting while you fumble with your wallet. i have a lot of people to serve, so hurry up
30) if you're waiting for service, then stay focused at the bar. dont turn around and chat to someone and then get pissed cos ive served someone else; to my eyes, you've been served or dont want a drink.
31) no the barmaids dont want your number, theres nothing attractive about a slurring drunk asshole no matter how good you think the chat up line is.
32) if you ask for some obscure drink, dont get frustrated if we ask what the hell it is. Not all of us know the Discoronno is actually Ameretto or that a 2 V's and a C means a double vodka and coke. Dont be a dick, tell us what you want in NORMAL terminology
----> No we dont think you're homemade terms are cool.
33) please dont get annoyed that we dont have the larger you want. We have a selection of other beers, they all taste like shit so why do you care.
34) dont get annoyed cos we dont understand your fucked up accent. Especially if you're slurring.
35) The DJ has a shit song on? obviously your an authoritive on music and EVERYONE agrees with you and likes the same stuff as you but regardless, dont tell me, tell the DJ ffs
36) a club is a loud place, dont mumble or get pissed if we ask you to repeat your order.
37) no we dont sell food...what kind of question is that?
38) dude, glasses in doors? seriously, you look like a dick
39) Give respect to get respect asshole.
40) oh you'll kick my ass? i think my doorman friends will have something to say about that. regardless, ur drunk mate, i have an instant advantage cos you can barely even see me properly.
41) fighting will get you kicked out. We dont care if he started it, you'll both be thrown out. Furthermore, if u try to come in with blood one you then you will be refused entry. we dont want troublemakers in our place, so fuck off.
42) if you're in a group and one of you has a fake id then you will ALL be refused entry. Sorry but thats how it goes in most cases.
43) we dont care if its your birthday and refusing you entry or ruining your night by refusing entry to a mate. Go somewhere else if its that much of a problem, theres over 40clubs in town to choose from.
44) a barman/doorman/other member of staff has been rude to you? thanks, ill log that away under "i dont give a rats ass". At the end of the day mate, you probably deserved it.
45) No, you cant make me feel guilty and no im not your mate.
46) oh your famous? well to us your just another person, u wont get special treatment. and any statements along the lines of "Do you know who i am" will be met with laughter and "i dont give a shit tbh"
47) no, there is no excuse or reason to be rude and i wont respond kindly to any forms of abuse.
48) you what--sorry i cant hear what did you--i dont understand whaa----too late mate, you've had your chance, NEXT!
49) Domestics are funny to us. If you want to have a blazing argument with your partner, go ahead. and the more slaps and drinks thrown the better; we need something to liven up our night ^_^
50) TIP! i cant stress this enough, you should always buy your a barman a drink. A barman is happy to do more or less ANYTHING you ask, just be nice about it. If we go and find an umbrella especially for you, or get you some sort of plaster or special request, then a drink is generally the way things should go.
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