Drunks

A Drunk walked into a lounge. After staring at a beautiful woman who was sitting at the bar for ten minutes, he sauntered over and kissed her.
She jumped up and slapped him hard.
"I'm sorry," he slurred. "I thought you were my wife. You look just like her."
"Ugh. Get away from me, you worthless, insufferable, no-good drunk!" she shouted.
"Wow!"  he said. "You sound just like her too!"