Speakin Southern

 After the southern tourist had been served in a Las Vegas cocktail
lounge, he beckoned the waitress back and said quietly, "Miss, y'all sure
are a luvly, luvly lady; can ah persuade y'all to
 give me a piece of ass?"
  
"Lord, that's the most direct proposition I've ever had!" gasped the
girl.  Then she looked around the room, smiled and added, "Sure, why
not?  You're nice lookin' too and it's pretty slow here right now, so why
don't we just slip away up to my room?"
 
When the pair returned half an hour later, the man sat down at the
same table and the waitress asked, "Will there be anything else, sir?"
 
"Why yes," replied the southern gentleman.
 
"Ah sure'preciate what y'all just did for me; it was real sweet and
right neighbourly, but where ah come from in South Carolina, we lack our
bourbon real cold, so ah still need to trouble y'all for a piece uh ass
for mah drink.